The Day It Ended

I no longer love him. In fact, I can tell you the exact moment when my heart let go...

It was Dec 9th and I was sitting in the audience of a concert... and it just clicked. For months I'd been trying to let go, to move on, to stop the aching that I felt every minute of every day. I'd begged. I'd cried. I'd pleaded. I'd prayed. In fact, that very day I'd done all 4. And then, there it was...release. The chains that had bound me for over three years no longer restrained me. I felt peace.

I've been afraid to write this post ever since. I feared that the moment I said it out loud (or typed it publicly) that something would happen and it'd all slip away -- I feared I'd fall back into the same trap I've been caught in so many times before. I'm no longer afraid. 

For a long time, I loved the way I felt when I was in love with him. I loved the possibilities he represented for me. I overlooked his flaws.

I can't say that I don't still hurt. I do. There are moments where I miss him or the idea of him (I'm not sure which). But despite that, I can confidently say that I'm no longer in love with him. He no longer has any rights to my heart. And that feels incredible.