Sunday, July 10, 2011

About Time...

I haven't written in awhile... and interestingly enough, this is when I thought I'd be writing the most. I met someone. Someone who could very well end up being someone meaningful in my life. I hope! 

So here's the scoop: 
About 3 months ago I met a guy.... He seemed sweet and we had a lot in common, but I almost didn't go out with him because of his name. He has same name as a lot of guys who have played some interesting roles in my life. I swore I'd never again date a guy with this name... but then there he was. So for the purposes of this this blog, he will be The Name. :) 

Our first date was wonderful, low pressure but great connections. We talked, and talked, and talked some more. Second date was the same way. It just worked. And by the third date (and our first kiss) I was happy... genuinely happy. 

By my birthday he'd swept me off my feet. It was the first time in a long time where I felt completely awestruck by a guy. I felt pampered and cared for in a way I'd been missing. I'm beginning to get attached. I'm beginning to fall.

We've chugged along like that for awhile. But he travels a lot for work so it's made our relationship both fast and slow at the same time. I'm learning. I've been struggling with the time apart. After talking to friends and panicking inside a few times, I finally realized that once the trip gets to about the 8 day mark I start to feel like I'm in a long distance relationship again. I've had some really bad experiences with long distance (and swore I'd never do it again) so alarms start to go off inside. I get insecure, needy, scared, lonely, and all sorts of other emotions that just aren't pleasant. I'm trying to figure it all out. 

I really care about this guy and hope there's a potential future there. I can't even tell you the last time I felt so safe with someone. And yet I'm scared about this travel. I don't want it to end us because I think we're stronger than that. I think there is something real here. I just hope he feels the same. I think he does... but time will tell.

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