Friday, February 26, 2010


I'm having trouble walking the line with Jack Daniels. I'm so torn. He says all the right things. He makes my heart leap. He does the little things. But he's still down there. And he's married. I'm trying to give him time to figure it out but every day that passes I get more scared and more attached. I have made it incredibly clear that I will not get involved with him while he's still married and that I don't want to be the reason he leaves anything. He needs to decide for himself if that marriage can work or not regardless of me. Nevertheless, I do feel I need to be honest with him regarding what I'm thinking and feeling. I would hate for a decisions on any of our futures to be made based on assumptions or misunderstandings. I think that's what's most fair for all of us. I respect marriage so much which is why I'm so torn. I don't know how to navigate this. I'm terrified of feeling all of this for him again. I know I shouldn't feel this way but I can't help it. I'm trying my best to stay as detached as possible until I see the actions.

One of my friends has been my savior in all of this. She's trying to help me keep my feet on the ground and navigate this impossible situation while keeping my integrity. It's so hard to try and figure out what's "right".

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