So I recently saw a post on Twitter regarding #30daysoftruth. It's a meme that challenges you to answer some questions with complete honesty.* It intrigued me and I've been dying to start my first post. It's taken me a few days because of some hiccups in life, but I am committed to doing it.
I'll also admit that before I started the challenge I was determined to finish a few posts that I started a long time ago and that needed to just be done and posted for me to move on and write honestly from where I am in life now. I've almost completed them (and will as soon as I finish this post), but I wanted to get this one done today.**
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
I try very hard not to hate myself at all. I've spent way too many years being overly critical of myself. I hold myself to standards that are impossible to meet and I'm aware of this. I can be my own worst judge. I'm trying to be more accepting of myself so this question is very difficult for me but I'm going to be honest throughout this process so that I can grow.
If I had to say something I honestly hate about myself it would be that I don't take enough care of myself. I pride myself on taking care of others, being aware of their needs, and doing my best to always be a good friend, partner, sister, daughter, etc. Unfortunately, I don't always treat myself with the same care and respect I give to others. I deny my own needs. I'm not sure exactly why I do this, but I do. Perhaps I feel like acknowledging my own needs makes me weak? I'm not quite sure. I don't feel other people are weak for having needs, but I feel vulnerable having my own. I'm consciously trying to work on this.
The interesting thing about the whole thing is that it isn't that I don't value myself. I have a good sense of self-confidence. I know I am valuable and that I deserve to be treated well, respected, acknowledged, loved, etc. I don't allow other people to treat me with disrespect. I just tend to get so caught up in taking care of others, that I put myself last on the list. I don't make time for doing things to care for myself. I know I need to become more aware of my own needs and make them a priority in my life. If I'm not willing to acknowledge and value my needs, it makes it harder for other people to value my needs. I'm hoping that in diving into the truth over the next 30 days that I can unearth some of the things I need to address in my life to make myself a stronger, healthier woman.
* Here's the link to the full 30 Days of Truth instructions
**That being said, you may discover a few posts showing up with dates in the past in the next day or so because I'm finally posting a few that have been sitting in my drafts.
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