Tuesday, September 7, 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day 15

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

There is a man in my life that I can rely on like no other. He "gets" me completely and without question. He is the one and only person that I know I can be 100% myself with - no walls, no facades, completely vulnerable and full of flaws - and he will always accept me without judgment.  I can't live without him.

I've known My Little Devil since I was 19 years old. From the moment I met him, I knew something had changed. There was an intense connection* between us that we couldn't deny (and that was blatantly obvious to everyone around us - including our significant others, Oops!**). He is the one man that makes me feel completely safe.

I'll readily admit, our relationship is both incredibly complicated and immensely simple at the same time. His is my best friend, but he is so much more than that. He is the guy to which I compare all others. He is the guy to which I confess my greatest fears. He is the person I turn to when I'm weak, scared, happy, tired, overwhelmed.*** He is the man that proves to me there are still good men out there. He is the one man I respect completely despite knowing his deepest darkest secrets. He knows when I need him before I even ask. We are connected at the soul. I'm not sure exactly what that means for us, but I know that now that I have him in my life, I could not survive without him. There have been times where we've taken some space, but we never lose connection. I lived for 19 years without him, and I've tried living without him since - there's just no way I will ever let that happen again.

There is no doubt in my mind that I love him. That used to be scary to admit. It was also terrifying to admit that I'm not sure if we should be "together" or not. We've considered it at different points but the timing has never been right. He is without a doubt, my soul mate. He intuitively understands me and knows me inside out. We can literally feel when we need each other. But I believe that some soul mates are meant to be romantically connected while others serve other roles in each others' lives. I'm honestly not sure what we are supposed to be to each other yet. What I do know is he owns a part of me that no other person can touch.

* Our connection is almost cosmic...perhaps is cosmic. We are both Gemini's - twins if you will. Our birthdays are a day apart.
** When we met he was married (now divorced) and I very soon after I started dating my future ex-fiance, Tennessee.
*** He is a core member of my team of therapists.

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