Sunday, September 12, 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day 22

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn't done in your life

There are many things in life that I've done that of which I'm not proud. Yet I don't regret them or wish I hadn't done them.* My mistakes have all taught me lessons. I think I'm a better person as a result of even my worst offenses. That may sound odd. However, I think those "bad" things I've done are part of what has lead me to where I am now. I've tried to make sure that if there's something in my life I could have regrets about, that I dig deep to figure out what lead me to making the choice, what the results of it were, and integrate that into my future decisions. I think my mistakes have made me more understanding and accepting of others. They've made me less judgmental (I know I'm far from perfect!). They've made me more self-critical. They've made me more loving....

But honestly, I know there are also some negative things that have come out of my mistakes that I'm still working on. I'm going to admit them here so I can continue to work on them. My mistakes have made me more guarded. I have to consciously work on lowering my walls. They've made me aware of my stubbornness. I have to try and not let my determination turn into bullheadedness. They've made me realize I forgive too easily. I need to learn to be willing to forgive, but also look for signs of change before giving it.

I know I'll continue to make mistakes. I hope I never regret them. I hope I constantly learn from them and work to overcome my flaws and vanquish my shortcomings.

*I realized after posting this that I wanted to comment on this line. While I don't regret doing them or with I hadn't done them, there are still things I need to forgive myself for doing. I wouldn't necessarily take them back because I believe they happened for a reason, yet I do still feel responsible for the consequences of my actions. I need to forgive myself for the ways my actions have effected myself and others.

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